Well, just about every musician I speak to seems to be in the doldrums at the moment.
We’ve all had them. Those gigs when you wind up playing to the barman and a confused duck that’s waddled in by mistake. Then comes the time-honoured excuses game – political bargaining with the venue management. Oh, and by the way, they’ll always tell you last night was busier…
Unfortunately we have to play this game, but it’s mostly a pointless exercise. Fantastic bands often play to terrible audiences and vice versa.
That’s just the way of the world, and the post mortem analysis is just a waste of time. Unless there really is something fundamentally wrong with the gig such as, I dunno, say doing a Metallica tribute at a toddler’s birthday party (although actually…) And you do have to appreciate that the venue is a business, not a charity to support musicians.
So here’s a cut out and keep guide for the next time you have to play the corporate executive game. You know the one? “Quarterly profits were disappointing because of the wrong kind of leaves falling on our target demographic’s socks”…
It was only quiet because:
- It was sunny/rainy/warm/cold [delete as applicable]
- It was the start/middle/end of the month [choose one]
- It was a public holiday/school holiday [or both]
- It wasn’t promoted properly
- The bus drivers were on strike so nobody could get here
- U2 were at the O2
- Everybody was watching England get booted out of a football tournament by a nation with the population of Wigan
It was only busy because:
- It was sunny/rainy/warm/cold [delete as applicable]
- It was the start/middle/end of the month [choose one]
- It was a public holiday/school holiday [or both]
- You just got all your friends to come
- The bus drivers were on strike so people stayed local
- U2 were at the O2
- Everybody knew England was going to get booted out of a football tournament by a nation with the population of Wigan
Just do your thing as best you can, people. You’ll get ups and downs.
Jason Lyon Music 
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